Orang-utan Friendly Oatcakes WTF
Yep the worlds gone absolutely, stone cold, fucking mental. You know Scottish Oatcakes biscuits made using butter, oats, salt and an oven. Its a simple mix and bake recipe. And you can add various bits and pieces such as cheese, chilli, herbs etc to change the flavour. But in essence they’re still oatcakes you just add some flavours.
The geniuses (may be genii) who design/market/produce Patersons Oat bits have added a new logo to show every one that their fucking oat cakes are now Orang-utan friendly! I kid thee not.
Paterson’s - Scottish Bakers since 1895 [Traditional with a Twist] - are orang-utan fucking friendly purely because they do not use palm oil. Why in the name of all that is sacred, reserved, pure and edible in this world would they use palm oil? Its not in the recipe (they use olive oil rather than bloody butter too the health concious freaks).
New Claims for Labels on Paterson’s Packaging
- Dolphin Friendly - Contains no dolphin (get more of the green market)
- Educationally Useful - Recent studies have shown that counting things is good for children, smash the oatcakes to tiny little pieces and get your little fucker to count them. Converts your kid into a human calculator quicker than plugging them into the mains and cross breeeding with an abacus
- Clinically Safe - there’s no risk that any food product of this sort sold in the UK would kill you (OK maybe some Cadburys Chinese chocolate or Pot Noodles may break this) but the fact that oatcakes are not going to kill you would work as a great additional marketing tool
- Paedophile unfriendly - protect children with oatcakes. They can throw the fucking rock hard crap at any paedophile who tries it on.
For more info about these stupid biscuits go to www.wildaboutoats.com
Right my spleen is vented - a bit - if you have any other things that Paterson’s should put on their oat cakes boxes stick it in the comments below.
October 12th, 2008 at 8:33 pm
[...] on his site, so it’s worth a regular look in. Anywho! He has posted about orang-utan friendly patersons oatcakes, now I think this is a little mad; hands up who agrees. Apparently they do not use Palm oil when [...]
October 19th, 2008 at 11:23 am
awesome
just found your blog, love the images and content.
September 19th, 2009 at 11:02 am
I like the oatcakes, especially the chilli and cheese ones. Maybe you should consider getting out a bit more, and yes, I know your computer is your friend…..but think about it. Has anyone fed them to the oran utangs yet? That certainly would square up the triangle, eh?
July 13th, 2010 at 6:16 am
I agree with the urangutang friendly logo and that is why I buy these oatcakes. Shows that almost all other producers use palm oil and the public dont know and if they do, accept the oil as the norm.